Cell versus the Nerima Wrecking Crew!
by ocramed
Summary: Ranma Saotome and company prepares for the dreaded "Cell Games". A Ranma Half x DBZ crossover story ONLY.


**Cell versus the Nerima Wrecking Crew! – Ocramed**

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**Disclaimer: "Dragonball Z" and "Ranma ½" belong to their respective owners.**

**Note: This is a limited "story".**

**Special Note: There have been several crossover stories featuring the Z Warriors and the so-called Nerima Wrecking Crew. Here's another. C&C are welcomed.**

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**Part 1**

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"Ranma, what are you doing?" Akane Tendo, heir to the Tendo Training Hall, asked, as she passed by the couch in the living room with her 'P-Chan' in her arms.

"What does it look like?" Ranma Saotome, heir to the Musabetsu Kakuto-ryu (i.e. "Anything Goes School of Martial Arts) replied with a scoff. "I'm looking at this new sentai program featuring this guy named Cell threatening the world if he is not defeated within nine days."

"Um, actually, it's not a television program," Nabiki Tendo, sister of Akane, said, as she continued to read her newspaper. "Apparently, there really IS a 'Cell'."

"Huh?"

"Oh, my," Kasumi Tendo, eldest Tendo sister, said, as she looked over Nabiki's sister.

"What is it, daughter?" said Soun Tendo, Tendo patriarch, as he looked up from his latest "go" game with his friend Genma Saotome, father of Ranma.

"The newspaper says that a creature by the name of 'Android Cell' has been terrorizing the world, in an effort to kill a person by the name of 'Son Goku', but will meet any challenge in an impromptu contest of strength called 'The Cell Games'."

"Why does that name seem familiar?" Genma mused.

"You know something, my friend?"

"I do recall taking Ranma to see the most powerful martial artists compete in the World Martial Arts Tournament," Genma said, as he mulled over his thoughts. "I remember that last tournament distinctively because two of those fighters, a Son Goku and some big, green guy destroyed the tournament's arena."

"There hasn't been a tournament since?" Soun asked.

"No. I was hoping that when Ranma had gotten older, he would compete in it."

"Yeah, so you can make money off of me," Ranma scoffed.

"Boy, competing against the toughest fighters in the world cost money," Genma said. "Besides, you are just as obligated to repay the family debt as I am."

"Well, then, maybe I can get Mr. Tendo to adopt me then?" Ranma replied. "That way, our two families can be united, and YOU will be obligated to pay the family debt?"

"But wouldn't that put your arrangement with Akane at stake?" Nabiki asked slyly.

"What do you mean?" Akane said, as P-chan jumps out of her arms, and heads for the bathroom.

"Well, I believe that if Father adopts Ranma, that would make him our brother," Kasumi said. "And I don't think that it would be proper if Akane married Ranma at that point."

"Oh, really?" Akane said, as she turned towards Ranma with clinched fists. "What ARE you getting at?"

"What are you talking about?" Ranma asked with annoyance, knowing that, once again, Nabiki was twisting his words around. "I'm just saying that I don't want to be stuck with Pop's debts-"

PLOP!

Ryouga Hibiki, formerly "P-chan", Akane's pet piglet, leans on Ranma's head with his right elbow.

"The point is that we have an obligation to deal with this Cell, just as we did when we dealt with Saffron," Ryouga said.

"He's right," Soun said. "It is a martial artist's duty to protect the innocent from this evil."

"Not to mention the rewards that will come our way, once this Cell has been defeated," Genma said.

"Whatever," Ranma said, just before he is splashed with cold water, triggering his special curse…

"Ah," said the diminutive and deviant Master Happosai, as he snuggles Ranma-onna's bosom. "I'll miss these…"

KLONK!

"What do you mean by THAT, you freak?" Ranma-onna said, after knocking Happosai away from her.

"Ranma, my boy, you have certainly grown…as a martial artist," Happosai said, as he began to puff on his pipe. "However, I do not think you are quite ready to face this Cell."

"You don't think I can handle this weirdo?" Ranma asked, after pouring hotwater over his head, reversing the trigger to his curse.

"Let me ask you this: how well did you do against the likes of Pantyhose Taro? Rouge? Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty? Ryu Kumon? How about Lord Saffron of the Phoenix Folk? Can you honestly say that dealing with those opponents will easily translate to a victory over this Cell creature?"

Ranma wanted to say something, but couldn't. Sure, he might have defeated them in combat, but their defeat was due to a combination of skill, luck and sheer tenacity…

"Nabiki, does the newspaper say anything about Cell that I might need to know?" Ranma asked.

"Only that Cell had defeated an entire army within minutes," Nabiki said, as she took a glance at her newspaper. "And without suffering any sorts of injuries to his person."

"Fine," Ranma said, as he clinched his fist. "I can use some…help."

"Hey, don't forget me, you know," Akane said. "I'm a martial artist, too."

"Akane, I don't want you to participate in this fight," Soun said.

"But, Dad-"

"There will be no further discussion on this matter."

"Fine, see if I care!" Akane said, as she storms out of the living room.

"Um, Ryouga, well, I need your help," Ranma said, as he turned towards his often rival.

"Why should I help you train, when I'm going to deal with Cell myself?" Ryouga said.

"Ryouga, can I talk to you for a moment?" Nabiki said, as she pulls Ryouga to a corner of the room, and began to speak to him in whispers…

"Since you will need all the help you can get, I will grant you permission to utilize my 'Forbidden Arts'," Genma said.

"As if I was going to ask you permission," Ranma replied, as he stares at Ryouga and Nabiki. As Nabiki speaks to the eternal 'Lost Boy', Ryouga's eyes widened with fear…

"So, we have a deal?" Nabiki asked slyly.

"Yeah, we do," Ryouga replied lamely. He then turned towards Ranma, and bows his head.

"It will be an honor to be your training partner," Ryouga said.

"Um, thanks?" Ranma said, slightly disturbed by Ryouga's act of humility, although he was curious as to what Nabiki said to him for his cooperation…

"Good," Happosai said, as he blew a puff a smoke from his pipe. "We do not have much time to train, so I will have to call for the assistance of an old friend."

"You don't mean…?" Genma said.

"Yes," Happosai said with a nod. "We must journey to the west, beyond the Bayankala Mountains of China."

"But…we did not even get past the Seven Lucky Gods, Master Happosai!" Soun said.

"No, YOU and Genma did not," Happosai said, as he turned towards Ranma and Ryouga. "But Ranma and his friends did."

"Yeah, we DID," Ranma said with a smirk.

"Wait, why are you just referring to Ranma, and not ME?" Akane said.

"Because, you were the hostage, my dear Akane," Happosai said.

"Yeah, it's not like you had anything to do with anything," Ranma said, as he shrugged his shoulders.

"So, you're saying that I'm USELESS?"

"Well…"

POW!

"Humph!" Akane said, as she stormed out of the living room, while Ranma was on the floor as Ryouga snickered. "See if I care-!"

"Grandfather Happosai, would you care for a cook on your training journey?" Kasumi asked.

"Daughter, what are you saying?" Soun asked out of concern.

"Well, with Ranma and Akane always on adventures, I never have the opportunity to see the places these that are traveled to," Kasumi said. "I…I want to see these places for myself, so that I can have stories to tell…"

Pause.

"Is that too much to ask?"

"No, it is not, dear Kasumi," Happosai said gently. "I suppose we will need to a cook on this trip who can feed us properly. However, I would prefer someone who can defend themselves while on this journey."

"Then…perhaps I can endeavor to train in my martial arts style?" Kasumi said.

"Wait, you have a martial arts style?" Ranma said in surprise.

"I only gave up regular practice due to the death of Mother, so that the family can be taken care of," Kasumi said with a sigh. She then turned towards her father Soun.

"Father, do I have your permission to go with Grandfather Happosai and Ranma for their training journey?"

"If Ranma promises to protect you, then you have my blessing," Soun said, as he gave Kasumi a hug. "It will be tough going during your absence, but I always felt that traveling broadens the mind."

"Thank you, Father…"

"Then you will need someone to manage the resources," Nabiki said. "I can do this, for a small fee, of course."

"How about this: what if Ranma teach you the Saotome 'forbidden arts' as payment?"

"Master, I sealed those arts because they are dishonorable," Genma said.

"Then unseal them," Happosai replied. "For one, Nabiki is crafty enough to utilize those skills to our benefit. Some people, in some places, will not deal in commerce or trade, and I have too much of a reputation for them to trust me. Nabiki may be the one to get us out of a jam if need be…"

Pause.

"Besides, if the power levels that I am detecting from this Cell creature are even remotely accurate, you will need all of your skills and techniques to overcome him."

"Fine, then, why do I have to journey to some place in order to get stronger?" Ranma asked. "I can do that here by fighting with 'P-chan'-"

KLOK!

"Are we going to the 'Sacred Land of Korin, Master Happosai'?" Ryouga asked while grinding his elbow into Ranma's head.

"You know about this place," Happosai said.

"That's the only place of significance that I know of west of Bayankala," Ryouga said. "I tried to travel to Korin in order to find an edge in beating Ranma."

WHAP!

"What's so special about THAT place, Old Man?" Ranma asked Happosai, after knocking Ryouga away from him.

"There is the Sacred Land of Korin is a tower that is infinite in height and stature," Happosai said. "There, at the top of this tower, the guardian of the tower, Korin, has two important items of power that you must obtain: the Sacred Water and Senzu Beans."

"Never heard of them," Ranma said. "But what's so special about them?"

"The water is said to confer great speed and strength, while the beans are said to confer complete healing from even at the point of death," Ryouga said.

"You seem to know a lot about this stuff," Ranma said, as he folds his arms.

"I'm always trying to get the edge on you, Ranma," Ryouga replied. "Why else do you think I go away for a while?"

"Is it because you always get lost or something?"

"…"

"Master, have you been to this tower?" Genma said.

"I have," Happosai said. "When I attempted to go there, I failed to pass the guardian's test."

"In other words, you tried to steal from this guardian, huh?" Ranma said.

"That is beside the point. Nevertheless, I was hoping that one of my students would redeem my dishonor, by completing the test. Since neither Genma nor Soun even made it to the Sacred Land of Korin, that honor falls upon the shoulders of Ranma."

"Oh, joy," Ranma replied. "Look, I don't mind doing this trip, since I am just as concerned about this Cell as anyone with any sense is. But, if I am to do this training journey, I'll make damn sure it's not something that YOU or Pops want me to do. Got it, Old Man?"

"In spite of your continued insolence, I will humor you," Happosai said, as he finished smoking his pipe. "Nevertheless, we set off on our journey to the West in the morning. So, for tonight, enjoy yourselves, for, tomorrow, our training journey."

With that, Happosai leaps out of the living room, and into the backyard.

"Where are you going, master?" Soun asked.

"Hey, I got places to be and people to see…"

With that, Happosai is gone.

"In other words, he's going on a panty raid…again," Ranma said. He then gets up and heads out of the living room himself.

"Where are you going?" Ryouga asked.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I got to apologize to Akane."

"Since when?" Nabiki asked.

"Since I want her to come with me," Ranma said. "She's always complaining to me about not going on these sorts of trips, so, I figured that we could do something together for a change."

"Oh, my, how mature of you!" Kasumi said with a smile.

"Good idea!" Soun said. "You should spend more time with your fiancée."

"This is just a training journey, Mr. Tendo," Ranma said, as he glances backwards. "Besides, I want to depend on SOMEBODY, if Ryouga keeps getting lost or something."

"What?" Ryouga said.

"While you are doing that, I will gather my old techniques," Genma said. "Whatever I have, it's yours."

"Um, if you mean by all the debts you have, then, I'm good," Ranma said.

"Humph."

"Tendo, listen," Genma said, as he pulls his friend aside. "We should journey to this place as well."

"Pardon?" Soun said.

"Yes. We go on this trip in secret, and make sure that Ranma and Akane have the courage to finally be married."

"That is a brilliant solution, old friend," Soun said. "The preparation of battle with this Cell will bring our family closer."

"Indeed it should," Genma said with a self-satisfied grin.

"Excuse me for a moment," Nabiki said, as she leaves the living room.

"Where are you going?" Kasumi said.

"I'm going to make some money for our trip, of course."

"…"

Later, thanks to Nabki's efforts, the news of Ranma going on an extensive training journey spreads to interested parties within Nerima Ward…

At the Kuno Estate:

"So, if the 'foul sorcerer' thinks that he can use the pretense of this training journey of his to woo the fierce Akane, he has another thing coming," said Tatewaki Kuno, as he clipped a rose from his garden. "I, too, shall go on this journey, so that I may destroy both him and this Cell, so says the 'Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School'!"

"You will not be alone in this endeavor," said Kodachi, Kuno's younger sister. "Thanks to our retainer Sasuke, I will obtain both Ranma's heart, as well as these mythical 'Senzu Beans' for my garden. HOHOHOHOHOHO-!"

Sasuke, the Kuno family's retainer and personal shinobi sighs. Most likely, he'll have to run interference for Ranma, if the world has any hope of surviving the Cell Games…

At "Okonomiyaki Ucchan's":

"It's too bad that we're closing up, at the height of the tourist season," Ukyo Kuonji said to her assistant okonomiyaki chef Konatsu. Like Ukyo, Konatsu was a fellow cross-dresser.

"Ukyo, you really think you can train in time for these games?" Konatsu asked, as "she" flipped an okonomiyaki dish on the grill.

"I don't know, but I'm not going to let Akane get better than me," Ukyo said. "With your help, I think I can. Besides, even if Kasumi is going to be on the trip, I would bet anything that Akane is going to insist on cooking for 'Ranchan'."

"Well, that does make sense, I guess," Konatsu said, as he broke out in a sweat.

"At any rate, we won't have that weirdo Tsubasa to worry about…"

'That's what you think, my beloved,' said Tsubasa, another cross-dresser and master of disguise, as "she" hid in a nearby mailbox. 'No matter what it takes, I'll always be there for you…'

At the "Cat Café":

"It seems that 'Son-in-Law' will be training for these 'Cell Games' after all," said the Joketsuzoku matriarch "Cologne". She, like Happosai, sensed the power of the Android Cell, and had planned to rally her fellow Amazons in order deal with this global threat.

"Will Shampoo go with 'Airen' on this trip?" Shampoo asked.

"You were to go on a training journey as well, although, now, you will do so with Ranma," Cologne said. She then turned towards Mousse.

"And you will accompany Shampoo on this journey to the West as well, slacker."

"Why should I?" Mousse asked. "Shampoo will be on Ranma's trip for Ranma."

"The simple reason is that if you can defeat this Cell, then you will have anything you want, including my great-granddaughter."

"Really?" Mousse said with excitement.

"No, really!" Shampoo said. "No want to marry Mousse! Marry husband!"

"The simple fact of the matter is that 'son-in-law' is not your husband. And by right, I can use Amazon law to force you to marry anyone. So, if Mousse does defeat Cell, he will have proven himself to be stronger than Ranma, and therefore worthy of providing our family with strong heirs. Do you understand that?"

"Shampoo…understands," Shampoo says with a sigh. Inwardly, she was determined to make sure that Ranma is strong enough to defeat Cell.

"Oh, boy!" Inwardly, Mousse was happy at the prospect of defeating Ranma, defeating Cell and winning Shampoo's hand in marriage.

"Enough of this," Cologne says. Inwardly, the Amazonian matriarch's plan to get Ranma prepared for the Cell Games was coming to fruition. She knew that her way-ward son-in-law had the raw talent to master the training techniques that can be found west of the Bayankala Mountains, although she was concerned about how Ranma would do upon meeting the guardian of Korin's Tower…should he make it that far. If nothing, the renewed antagonistic relationship she had just caused, between Mousse and Ranma, will push both fighters to become better fighters. The question is whether or not it will be enough to make a difference in the upcoming Cell Games…

"We have much preparation to make tonight before we set off on our journey to the West in the morning…"

And, thus, a journey to save the world begins.

**Tbc.**


End file.
